gearing up for Movember, need feedback

Ok so I know that I'm a very absent minded blog keeper but as you know (or as I write here every few months) I am looking to change that. One of the things that I truly hate about having Multiple Sclerosis is that I am VERY easily distracted because of my lack of focus, that little sticking point just blends itself into other areas of my MS laziness (a blend of lack of motivation/zero energy/mood- anger) oh the joys of our illness. Sorry I had to have a little whine- my writing style is anything but perfect or normal, as you know or are about to find out- I am trying to impart my knowledge and yell a lot in the process. I am taking part in Movember  which is a light hearted yet hirsute challenge for men to grow a mustache while fundraising for men's health issues which include prostate and testicular cancer as well as mental health issues. I want to participate in order to shine a light on the issue of men and MS - Multiple Sclerosis is two to three times more common in females than males. So I am going to forth with a "lip broom" and talk about some health in the process, I still don't know how often I'll update (daily versus 2-3 day intervals)

have to start fresh but as you can see its very easy

3 year and seven month check in

ok so its been a while and I haven't been posting for good reason, a while ago I started letting my low self esteem dictate the tone of the blog, and that was contrary to what I initially was intending to do. I had some type of delusion of being a "go to guy" of being an advocate. Like many MSers who take an interest in documenting my ordeals I thought that I could start to pass on a wealth of knowledge .. and so on and so forth. My only setback there is MY MS brain likes to forget ... a lot. As I've stated in previous posts I have a habit of jumbling my words and thoughts.

While I believe I'm rebounding in the self worth and attitude portion of my life so I'll do my best to come back, it may be full of self deprecation and it may be sporadic but I believe that I should keep trying. I may not be a fountain of knowledge but my little point of view is still worth sharing.

a wellness check

... and by wellness check I mean that I'm writing this so that my occasional readers can know that I am alive. I have no excuse my my prolonged absence but you can imagine or agree that this MonSter always has different plans for us. My problem (besides mustering up energy) is my motivation always seems to seap out of me, I'll have a standard day- think of a possible subject (or something that happened to me in my day) and the voice in the back of my head starts in with - "well that''ll never work" or "Your sentences don't make any sense".

As you can plainly see I have no self esteem but I only mention that so the reader can see that they aren't alone and more as a form of do it yourself therapy (i.e. tell myself that I'm ok)... because I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and Goddone it, people like me. Sarcasm and old SNL lines help me

I'm also plagued by my continuing grumpiness, I tend to do well enough when I'm in a hermit like situation, with the occasional coffee shop trips with my mom and my 3X a week gym visits with my dad I do ok. (I live with my wife and cats whom are all within 10 feet of my position on this couch) ok so I'm not a TRUE hermit.

I wrote this post yesterday and just noticed some text and color errors on the page, as much as I tried to fix it 'blogger' is choosing to not be my friend today :-(