a bit of what I think about conspiracies

Most of my daily routine involves immersing myself in MS, by that I mean that in the morning after reading my emails and drinking my coffee I catch up on my Google Reader. By that I mean that I read through my MS related blogs, it also collects MS related tweets. Through that process I mostly do that to stay up to date with MS News and the community as well, in that respect  I also use Facebook for that same purpose. In all of that MS knowledge immersion I have come to a strong conclusion about myself I don't believe in  conspiracies or playing detective when it comes to my MS. Some people will think I'm naive but I really believe that companies are moving forward to find a cure, I don't really think that we're being kept sick on purpose. Money can still be made by these companies if they find a cure. I respect different peoples thoughts and ideas. In regards playing detective, trying to trace your medical history in most situations can be a headache in regards to trying to track down the 'genesis' of the disease into your body. I do my darnedest to respect anyone dealing with disease, we all have different ways of dealing, coping, getting by

you may have a different opinion, please use discretion if you comment

Progressing

When I initially went to physical therapy I was there for about three months when I came down with a case of fear and "demotivation", by that I mean I was trying to use a cane before I was ready and fell straight on my face. After that point I let that fear get the better of me and I stayed bed bound for a few days and stopped going to physical therapy, after that I moved to staying on my couch for that summer. That October I mustered up the strength to go back to physical therapy. I had a three day a week routine consisting of the exercise bike, leg press and a few other machines. That routine in conjunction with my Tysabri therapy have greatly assisted me in moving forward  great deal. I have progressed to using a cane and not relying so much on my walker, this is also due to the fact that I had to learn from those failures and just press forward. This week I "graduated" from physical therapy, there's only so much that can be taught/done before a student/patient must move on. I joined my local gym where I plan to continue that 3 day a week routine. I don't have the same therapy environment so I plan to update re any difficulties I might encounter.

Yesterday I received good practice for keeping a positive mental attitude while visiting one of my team of doctors. (hectic waiting room, unruly children, angry patients) The clinical side of the visit was fine though, since I have optic neuritis my opthamologist has done a good job of checking all the odds and ends when it comes to my optic nerve. Optic neuritis involves an inflammation of the optic nerve that often leads to sudden vision loss or obstruction in vision (like seeing a grey blob in your line of sight). They conducted a field vision test which I didn't "fail", nor did I "pass", I did the same as a visit right after the onset of the neuritis. The test is very peculiar it looks like a miniature mock up of what I imagine a UFO might look like on the inside stark a single color and tons of flashing lights going off one at a time in random order. My eyes were then dilated so the  Dr can take a peek inside the eye itself, from the pupil area looking in. The pressure in the eye (their words not mine, don't ask me) was good. The appointment ended with a referral for a second opinion since this is a neurological condition she wants a second opinion on how we should proceed with my eye from a neuro-opthamologist   that above is the field of vision tester, the UFO part is within the circle area

Positive mental outlook when it comes to MS

No one ever said that having an incurable disease was an easy thing, but being in the midst of this battle I figured being negative and being angry doesn't help or my wife. The only drawback that I can see is that some people might view me as being weak or a tee-totaler, I've been refered to as worse (I'm from New Jersey after all). Having a thick skin helps in many of lifes battles, I encounter situations everyday on the internet*, a few of these situations play out in discussion boards regarding specific MS Treatments. (*fighting on the internet is pointless and only accomplishes a hollow victory) People in the MS life we are an open and usually accepting bunch but when it comes to treatment there seems to be defined camps. Regardless of treatment choice, I try to view ALL battling this disease as an all, someone who can share knowledge fro their point of view (Your MS may not be like my MS and vice versa)

You don't necessarily have to be religious to have a pacifist like attitude, meditation can help (as well as help in MS). For me it's a combination of a few things, one of them being Citalopram (Celexa) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Citalopram ,it may not be everyones personal solution but I have to admit it has really helped in my life. Please consult your doctor as I am NOT one :)