the highs and lows

went to the gym today and as always it was an adventure. I did my usual fifteen minutes on the treadmill all went well with that, I'm able to do a half mile on a good day(and today was a good day). After that I went over to the stationary bike, I have to use the seated bikes due to my drop foot and balance problems. Upon sitting down a funny thing happened, I got this real big adrenaline boost (more than usual, I'm chalking it up to my coffee). I tore through my routine like I was pedaling away from danger! I usually do 2 miles within fifteen minutes, I ended up doing it ten minutes & thirty seconds, I didn't want to push it past that. I ended with my usual leg press and knee bend machines. On my way home I noticed a little minor blurring in my vision, the lesson learned there is that I should appreciate my strengths and not forget that with my MS my unseen obstacles are still there. I also know that I'll sleep like a baby tonight and I'll most likely be a sleepy slug tomorrow.

todays obstacle

one obstacle that I face and some MSers may face is motor skill difficulty. Let me try to explain (for those of you that might be scratching your heads) by motor skill difficulties I don't mean numb fingers (which I do get) I mean lathering my scalp with shampoo and having trouble multi-tasking. By that I mean I have trouble both standing up (trying to balance) having my hands on my scalp and trying to work my hands around my hair(or lack there-of) and just repeating that step. It may be a motor-skills prob or it may be a multi-tasking difficulty.
I just wanted to mention this because I just showered and I felt weird, slathering my hands around, my arms felt weird for a second.

note that I am a fat disabled guy and not a pretty lady  
so I'm just using this for illustrative purposes

The way I try to work in my environment is to keep my butt/tuchus flush with my tub-wall and I try to not over do it with the lathering because the last thing I need is to be blinded. I do have a chair and I use it when I know that my legs aren't going to co-operate. Thankfully I haven't had any accidents recently. I always try to work within my ability or what I can pull-off

it's that time again

last year I got involved in Dewey's 24 Readathom and its love of all things literary. It was important to me to do this in light of the cognitive issues that I (as well as countless others) have with Multiple Sclerosis. The 24 hour event is scheduled for April 21st  (times may vary, check the link) the event highlights the love of reading. You don't have to be a speed reader to partake but note it helps to have a blog or facebook page in order to post brief summaries or just publicize you participation. Some participants do their reading with a specific charity in mind, I've never done this because I feel odd handling monies that aren't mine. Instead of getting involved from a monetary standpoint I try to publicize the National Multiple Sclerosis Association and bring light to other MSers out there.

You don't have to be disabled to partake, I invite you to check out the link and see if you're game

It'll officially be a year tomorrow

I started this blog 3/14/2011 and I was officially diagnosed 2 years and 2 months ago so I thought I'd share a bit on  "What have I learned?" (just like sitcoms from the 80s or South Park)

When it comes to Multiple Sclerosis we are individually unique like snowflakes (I HATE that  analogy but it's quite fitting here) What effects* me may not necessarily effect* someone else and vice versa. I've learned to be thankful for where I am at the moment, if I can do my 30 steps and not fall ... well then it's a good day, I do my best with what I have and hope that it doesn't progress.

I've learned to appreciate my blog friends and even my Facebook friends (as much as I might complain sometimes) I look forward to being updated on their treatment and enjoy learning of their successes, what may not work for me might be a life-saver for someone else (a call back to us all being unique)

I've learned that I can still push myself when it comes to working out, although I've had a hiccup or two when I overdo it I've witnessed that I can still do a decent amount of walking (albeit a screwy wobble walk left-leg wise) Thanks to my kindle fire I've read quite a bit more recently, I only mention that because I have a daily fight with the attention part of my brain so ANY reading is a good thing. I've gotten accustomed to the occasional left leg tremor, the only drawback aside from the inconvenience is that my leg gets a little tight.

Happy March!

In many states across the US, March is observed as MS Awareness Month, Having MS and viewing visual aids such as the one to the side help me to remember that I'm only human and that I should get back on track "agenda"wise with my blog. I'm reminded of the Charles Barkley commercial from the 90s the famous "I am not a Role Model" from Nike, in regards to holding myself up to some unseen standard for my behavior on Facebook and  this blog. My behavior or rather my feelings of being ignored or unnoticed are just typical for mood or minor depression, the only thing I could tell you the reader is that I will try to be on the ball a bit more

I am aware that I'm not a role model or even a spokesperson, but I can still try to be a friend, Hi! My name is Ricky

when will I just grow up

I'm not really a whiner, but I think prolonged exposure to Facebook has turned me into one. I have become complacent in a virtual world, that's the downside of being a virtual (and literal) hermit, when no one cares what you say you shouldn't go back and complain that they aren't looking. I had started a second profile on Facebook to speak with MS friends and different folks who have health concerns in common but I'm regretting that choice. I hardly get spoken to on that second profile, I guess some of that is my fault since I made a big deal about getting a barrage of game invites.I wouldn't want to speak to me too,  After all is said and done I think slowly deleting my 2nd profile might be the better option, either that or I guess I'll have to sack up and learn to live in a world of invisibility.

it's almost been a year since I started this blog .....

.... and I think I keep withdrawing more into myself. While I thankfully haven't been flaring up or feeling physically ..wrong, I just can't help but feel odd about my misanthropy. I don't associate this with my MS but I felt that I would address it here because I know that I can't be alone in this. For twenty eight years (at my parents house in NJ) I was rarely alone so when I moved here to Florida I was mostly alone for about a year and a half. So for me part of the process to get beyond the loneliness was to embrace the quiet, after getting married (to the love of my life) and being diagnosed with MS (which leaves me home alone most days) I tend to be alone or rather find myself preferring to be alone. That tends to be a tricky thing though when it comes to family and friends, I get a bit of understanding from most folks because of my MS and some folks do know that I prefer being a recluse ....

maybe I'll always be a grumpy old man 

what if it isn't that? what if I'm really just a misanthrope, I don't hate people per se but again just preferring the whole solitude deal.