Confessions of a cog-fogged mind

i tried to post this yesterday, didn't notice it until know

since I was diagnosed 17 months ago I have went through a total of four MRIs. Of those MRIs I have seen the results of 0, zilch, nada. I really don't know why, probably fear, probably some weird superstition. I've never been a fan of inspecting my own brain, despite MRIs being a miracle and advancing the science of neurological diseases, it doesn't seem normal for me to have that power. Irresponsibility aside I've decided to put the fear of my brain aside and get educated this time around.

Part of the giving in is because I've been on Tysabri for almost a year and I need to know that my brain isn't swiss cheesing anymore

confessions of a swiss cheesed mind

I wrote out an extensive posting yesterday right before blogger crashed and took my posting down with it, "Save" be damned. I started off by confessing that in the seventeen months since I've been diagnosed, I have gone through a total of four MRIs. I have never really viewed my MRI results I've pondered why that is, Perhaps fear of viewing my own brain sliver by sliver?  the claustrophobia part of it really doesn't bother me, it's more of the being subjected to a 2 hour bizarro concert of hums whirling magnetos in my ear. I had my fourth MRI this morning and I've decided to "man-up" and finally take the plunge. I wrapped up my morning by taking my monthly tysabri infusion (number 10!), and so far I'm feeling good. I am achy from the 2 1/2 hours stuck in one position not moving, thank God for couches!

a line in the sand

many of us who try to stay current on MS and are homebound tend to rely on social media. I use Google reader to sum up all of my blogs, while scanning the subjects of all the blogs and the daily news rap-up involving Multiple Sclerosis and CCSVI it seems there are two camps, the pro and against. I try to stay current and informed with all the developments, it seems theres a war of words between the two factions. I clearly fall in the middle between the two parties, I want the process to succeed, I really do, but in the meantime I just do my best to remain positive. Negativity is a horrible thing, I do my best to be positive, not in a wishy washy lets go hug a tree kind of way but in a preserving sanity/bitterness is bad for my body way. Because my information is from blogs and not first hand accounts my knowledge is limited. I have the utmost respect for both sides.

Positivity isn't such a bad thing. I welcome all comments.

I don't believe in setbacks

From the moment I was first told that I had multiple sclerosis it seemed that negativity was out to get me. That is mostly due to the horrendous attitude that the attending neurologist had, she was relaying all of the other diseases that I might have. That was resolved by a prescription to Celexa and exercising my right to not be brought down by that negative Nelly. Since then I have become a bit more educated in MS and thankfully I have no other diseases. I try to be positive, there's no place to go but up(thinking about how low that Dr. had me feeling) Most MSers tend to have a positive outlook from what I've seen.

I've spent the last month practicing my cane usage, trying to upgrade from the walker. I might have overdone it just a bit because last Wednesday my knee was a teeny bit swollen, so I left physs therapy early. I've had twisted knees before (twenty years ago) so I know it wasn't that, I think (and my phys therapist agreed) my knee is just a bit over used. I spent most of Wed/Thurs taking it easy on the couch and relying more on my walker, Friday I went in and started my rehab a bit slower. In the end I didn't leave early and I did most of my workout. There's nowhere to go but up!

We are family!!

I have been on facebook for a few years now but only recently did I decide to to "friend" some other members of our community. No special reason why I held out really, I just didn't want to come off as a 14 year old on myspace trying to collect friends. I soon got past that thinking when I remembered that communication is vital! I'm fortunate to have a support group but not alot of others can say the same. That's also kind of why I like to do this page. commiserating can occupy some time but it can also brighten up someone Elses day. Personally I have friends from all over the world, some friends that I can only understand thanks to Google translate. I have been learning alot and I've found it to be a great chance to share ideas and just talk. We've all been thrust into a situation together and we're trying to confront it, kind of like a Grisham novel without a lawyer.

Life on MarS

Whether it is a recent diagnosis or not, having Multiple Sclerosis is NEVER easy. dealing with a diagnosis is an unimaginable idea for anyone to deal with. That diagnosis is my daily reality I have had to do my best to be positive and not sound wishy washy when it comes to to Motivating myself or those around me. I try to gather strength from my accomplishments, today at physical therapy I was downgraded from a three times a week cycle to twice a week. I have gathered alot of strength alot of it physical FROM my workout routine

accentuate the positive

Having MS is nothing to laugh at, I think that's pretty much an understood fact, but in having MS I'll be damned If I'm going to be bitter. Of course that's easier said than done given that everyone experiences MS differently. I have been taking Celexa ever since I was diagnosed. That works with me and my neuro Being positive agrees with me