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Friday, March 2, 2012

it's almost been a year since I started this blog .....

.... and I think I keep withdrawing more into myself. While I thankfully haven't been flaring up or feeling physically ..wrong, I just can't help but feel odd about my misanthropy. I don't associate this with my MS but I felt that I would address it here because I know that I can't be alone in this. For twenty eight years (at my parents house in NJ) I was rarely alone so when I moved here to Florida I was mostly alone for about a year and a half. So for me part of the process to get beyond the loneliness was to embrace the quiet, after getting married (to the love of my life) and being diagnosed with MS (which leaves me home alone most days) I tend to be alone or rather find myself preferring to be alone. That tends to be a tricky thing though when it comes to family and friends, I get a bit of understanding from most folks because of my MS and some folks do know that I prefer being a recluse ....
maybe I'll always be a grumpy old man 
what if it isn't that? what if I'm really just a misanthrope, I don't hate people per se but again just preferring the whole solitude deal.

1 comment:

  1. I personally feel with MS and other things the recluse/alone is somewhat attractive to me. It is so much more stress free. No drama of family or close friends just peace and whatever I chose it to be. Stress triggers a relapse they say. I do need to get out more I know and I will on my terms I guess. I had to comment as your post was so familiar to my life.